Diary Of Silent Days.....

🌀There’s something about silent days that makes them louder than the busiest ones. I’m 22 now...sitting in my small room, surrounded by books, chai, and dreams. After finishing my studies and leaving the hostel, I came back home to prepare for competitive exams. I thought it would be peaceful. I thought I needed this calm. But no one tells you that silence can be so noisy....In hostel, life was full of chaos...late-night Maggi, gossip in corridors, laughter echoing through rooms, and fights over the fan switch. I used to complain about the noise; now I miss it like crazy. Funny how life works...we always crave what we once wanted to escape.

🌞Now my mornings are slower. My alarm rings at 5 AM, but I open my eyes around 9. I make tea, open my books, and tell myself, “Today I’ll study seriously.” But one thought on my mind turns into a hour deep dive. Then I promise myself I’ll do better tomorrow. The cycle never fails....At home, the silence is sometimes peaceful, sometimes heavy. 

💓My mom keeps checking if I’ve eaten, my dad keeps saying, “Focus on your studies", and 🐍relatives keep asking, “Exam kab hai beta?” as if they’ll give me marks for answering. I smile, but inside I want to scream, “When I find out, I’ll send a family message!”

💪Some days I feel confident...solving questions, making notes, feeling like the main character of a motivational reel. Other days, I stare at my books, feeling like a background character in someone else’s success story. But slowly, I’ve realized...not every day is about results. Some days are just about trying again. There was one particular day when everything felt “too much.” I couldn’t study, couldn’t focus, couldn’t stop overthinking. I sat on my bed, wondering if I was even meant for this. Then, out of nowhere, my friend text "What's going on..?" I replied nothing” and texted "What about you..?" then reply comes "just completed mock..."  it felt like motivation to mee...We complained, joked, and shared our little breakdowns until it didn’t feel so heavy anymore. That day taught me that sometimes all you need is one true friend & one conversation and a cup of tea to start again....

💣Then came the serious day. I woke up early, arranged my books like a topper, wrote “Study Plan...No Excuses” in bold, and even made my room look like a productive. Everything was perfect...until 1-2 hr later I started yawning. My mom came in with something, the dog barked, the power went off, and my motivation disappeared faster than my morning chai. By evening, my table looked like a battlefield. Still, at night I looked at my messy notes and feel guilty. Maybe trying...even if you fail...still counts as progress...

Now, months later, the same walls that once made me restless have started feeling like home. Still silence scare me . I’ve stopped expecting every day to be perfect. Some days I study hard; some days I just breathe. Some days I cry; some days I laugh for no reason. I’ve learned that peace doesn’t come when life slows down...it comes when you do...

🌻I’ve started noticing small things...the sound of rain on the window, my mom’s & Dad's smile when I finally come out for dinner, the feeling of finishing one chapter even if I have ten more left. I don’t need everything figured out anymore. I just need to keep moving...slowly, calmly, honestly.

If someone asks me today how my life is going, I’d probably say...“Its good" but It’s slow, silent, sometimes confusing, but meaningful.

Because these silent days aren’t empty. They’re teaching me patience, strength, and self-belief in their own quiet way. One day, when I finally reach where I’m meant to be, I’ll remember these days...the tea, the laughter, the tears, the silence...and smile, knowing these weren’t wasted days.

They were becoming days.

And maybe, that’s what growing up really is......😓✌

" Here's to finding beauty in small things- Sakshi 🌸"